S C A T T E R B R A I N


Ask me             Archive           Random
Apr 22
afterthedecimalpoint:

I need 20
Apr 22
  • Me: please universe can I get this new job.
  • Universe: Ok, for the function of your ankles.
  • Me: I didn't agree to this! Please can the swelling and pain go down so I can work this week.
  • Universe: Oh fine. I'll give you calf cramps and aches to make up for it.
  • Me: Fuck! Fucking shit!
  • Universe: *maniacal laughter*
Apr 22
enchantedmud replied to your post:SO…
Shit. Is. Fucked.

But it comes with your free choice of topping -That’s good.
The toppings contain potassium benzoate. - That’s bad.

Apr 22

SO…

Apr 22
fyahblaze:

punkphantom:

malformalady:

A man after a successful heart transplant, holding his old, diseased heart

metal as fuck

seriously
amazing

fyahblaze:

punkphantom:

malformalady:

A man after a successful heart transplant, holding his old, diseased heart

metal as fuck

seriously

amazing

Apr 22

quote Insomniacs know better than anyone how it would be to haunt a house.

— Michael Cunningham (via amandaonwriting)
Apr 22

quote oh hell no i did not resurrect for this

— jesus after watching the last game of thrones episode probably (via queencersei)
Apr 22
note-a-bear:

I know I reblogged this beforeBut the look on its face in the last picture actually kills me

note-a-bear:

I know I reblogged this before
But the look on its face in the last picture actually kills me

Apr 21

mazarin221b:

banditbrineshrimp:

personifyingchaos:

Dylan Moran on adulthood

[x] oh my god his delivery

…fuck.

Apr 21

goatcorporation:

dragons hoard gold and treasure but as far as i can tell they have no use for it as actual currency. dragons dont really need material wealth because they can do whatever they want and no one will sell anything to a dragon (a dragon can just take whatever they want anyway)

possible theories for why dragons hoard treasure:

  • like many species of birds, dragons are instinctually attracted to shiny objects for no other reason except to attract a mate with their beautiful nest
  • their favorite cartoon is scrooge mcduck
  • dragons just enjoy killing/eating rich kings, landowners, aristocrats etc.
  • they intentionally manipulate the global economy by withholding material wealth from the market
Apr 21
Wanna hang out and wear crazy lip colours??

YEAAA BUDDY!

Apr 21
Puuuurple lipstain.

Puuuurple lipstain.

Apr 20

crazyxenomorph:

the-space-ghost:

If you don’t think space is the tightest shit then you’re wrong

The most tragic part is that we all have an universe of our own inside ourselves and some of us still think we are just a waste of space.

Apr 20
teabeforewar:

Bluebell the adorable.  Also glowy.  But mostly adorable.


Has science gone too far?

teabeforewar:

Bluebell the adorable.  Also glowy.  But mostly adorable.

Has science gone too far?